Poem for National Adoption Day

A little ditty inspired by my friends and family in this weird triangle who write like my Uncle Jim and my friend Wynter Kaiser:

 Tribute to a Birthmom

 So many times I have thanked my mom.
 My real mom.
 The one who adopted me and raised me.
 But this time I raise my glass to you.
 I got to say “I forgive you” when we met.
 And “Thank you” for doing right by me.
 But our time was cut short.
 Now I wait to see you again and ask you more questions in heaven.
 I praise Him who was always watching out for me that you heard those words from me.
 That you accepted His grace as well before He called you home.
 I pray that hopefully you forgave yourself after all this time.
 I pray your heart is mended after all this life threw at you.
 Stuff I imagine no one should have to deal with that you saved me from.
 With your strength.
 Your unselfishness.
 Your love.
 It’s been felt this whole time.
 And it’s returned.
 I just hope you know.
 Somehow.
 Even if I never said it right when I had the chance.
 You deserve it.
 And more.
 Say “Hi” to my grandpa Bob, please, and tell him I miss him too.

Your sappy birthkid,
 Ali

Twin tip #1: Set up two bouncers with the feet ends overlapping a bit and you'll only need to turn vibrate on one of them or bounce one of them to vibrate and/or bounce both of them!

Random pics of a dress I made Livi, her first b-day, and a snow day last Jan!

Almost 30?!

Golly! So much to say and so little time! Well, that little puking baby is almost 2 now! I am excited to throw her a monkey party and see her light up when she sees her streamers, cake and presents! I got her a laptop and I'm hoping to get my iPad back...she is slightly obsessed with watching Backyardigans and Curious George on it as well as playing some fun toddler apps I downloaded. I finally got an iPhone!!! This has been a dream of mine for a while and I feel like one of the last one's in the universe to get one! Yay! That is my new toy, but the trick will be to keep it pocketed, except for phone calls and some texts, when Olivia's around so A: she won't be jealous of the attention I give to it and B: she won't destroy it like my last phone! Wish me luck! She is just so smart and she really loves technology. Seriously! Other stuff she is doing and saying is, "I got it!" (whether you actually got it for her is irrelevant), "What that?" (especially when she burps and points in her mouth) and jumping is one of her favorite ways to show off. She also says "Wuv wu" for "Love you," which is super adorable! There's tons more, of course, but I have to be brief. In other news, my after school care job is almost over for the year and boy did that whiz by! It was super fun and a great experience and I did get to do some subbing in the mornings as well this year, so I got to spend some time in the classroom also. I am currently not sure what's next, but considering subbing full-time next year, attempting to get a teaching job or perhaps going back to after school work. I need a job for summer as well, but no idea what I will find yet. Its a little nerve-wrecking, but I have faith that something will come up. I know that I am capable! Oh and did I mention that I'll be 30 the end of this month? No biggie! Ha ha! NOT! Its an age I never expected to enjoy so much, though, I will say that! I think it is the best time of life so far, not college years, like I thought before... Jared and I are happy and exhausted, with each other and our little one, and looking forward to the break my big sis has offered to give me for my birthday weekend by taking Olivia for a few days. I'm thinking maybe a Jimmy Buffett theme with Cheeseburgers in Paradise and Margaritas in Margaritaville, etc. You'll be getting an invite soon, I'm sure! There's a couple of other things that have happened this last year that are a little sensitive and I hate to just throw them in here, but most of you know I met my birthmom a few years ago and have made good friends with my half-brothers and made phone contact with my birthfather and a few phone calls were exchanged. Well, I got to be a bridesmaid in Nat and Laurel's wedding and they are now excellent and living in Portland with their awesome roommate, Rihana. They've even babysat for us! I love keeping in touch with them and being able to! My birthmother, Michele, did pass away shortly after their wedding last August of cancer. We had a little warning, but never enough. It was very bitter losing someone I just met, but I will need to do further reflecting and processing later. Also, my birthdad did of mostly cerosis of the liver, which I still can't spell, but his health had been getting worse for a while. Both of them were fairly young as in 53ish and 66ish, but I just hope they are resting comfortably in a better place now and I pray for their families and people they knew and loved. Thanks for reading, hope all are well that I haven't caught up with in a while. Talk to you soon!

HA ha! Of course I forgot the poem!

Unconditional
By Ali Palmer

At five-thirty A.M.,
The coos turn to cries.
Dad throws off the covers,
And begins to rise.

She greets him smiling,
With Cosmo Kramer curls.
Nothing is more perfect
Than this baby girl.

He gives her to mama
And gets in the shower.
Before he can finish,
Her upset tummy overpowers.

On the mom, the baby and the bed
The little girl has vomited.
They can barely believe
To this life they’ve committed.

Yet neither is angry,
Or even frustrated.
On getting her better,
They’re both concentrated.

An example of love,
That no others would see.
I wonder how many,
Were given to me.

A Poem About My Morning

As usual, it's been forever since I've written, but better hardly ever than never, right? So, as most of you know, I had Olivia on July 26th, 2010 and what a perfect birth story I had! She was and is so beautiful I can still scarcely believe she's mine! She's a great little girly with a sunshiny personality and big blue eyes and loose light brown curls that takes long morning naps! Whoohoo! I was just saying to Jared yesterday that I think if it weren't for naps, all stay-at-home moms would kill themselves. I graduated from grad school and am now officially a MASTER in teaching! You may bow to me now and address me as Master Ali. I couldn't believe it, but I managed a 3.97 GPA and, although there were times I wasn't sure I was going to make it, I survived student teaching.

I am now, as I said, a stay-at-home mom searching for a seemingly non-existent job for fall. I do have a screening interview Monday to get on the Beaverton School District Sub. list, which is actually my ideal! That way I can stay home with Olivia sometimes, like if she is sick or I just miss her, but I can get lots of great ideas and connections to begin my teaching career with. I hope to find a better perspective on exactly where I'd like to teach and exactly what and whom through substituting. That's the play, anyways.

I've developed an even GREATER respect for moms (and dads) throughout the universe through this staying at home all day every day thing. I would like a job to get a vacation, please, and my child is EASY! Can you imagine? No, you can't unless you've done it, but trust me - buy your mom or another mom flowers and say thanks (not me or I'll just feel like I bullied you into it and that's a waste)!

Now I've got my parents in Tigard still, my little sister in Hillsboro, and my big sister and her family in Beaverton. Everyone is just where I want them - CLOSE to me! Aunty Candy makes a great babysitter and I'm enjoying much more time with both my sisters these days. I just went to Michigan to be in my brother, Nat's, wedding and I got to take Olivia and Jared with me and stay with my cousin Amber and her husband, Jeff. Everyone was so happy to meet my little family and have us there for the big day and it was SUCH a gorgeous wedding and so much fun! Even Jared enjoyed himself, despite being saddled with the child the majority of the time due to my bridesmaid duties and me just wanting to spend lots and lots of time having fun with everybody!

It was a bit bittersweet as it might have been one of my last times to see my birthmom, Michele, who has been diagnosed with uterine cancer. This cancer is generally not a killer, but when you're stubborn, tough and have no health coverage, it becomes a killer after several years of denying it and keeping it to yourself. She was told there is no possible treatment that could stop it or take it away at this point and she has about six months to live. Pain mitigation is the only goal now. It is a sad truth I think most of us are still kind of in denial about, but dealing with fairly well on most days. She made it to the wedding and reception - ALL of it, which has been a big question and a big goal for a while now, so I feel that this gives everyone a little consolation about the whole situation, but it still sucks no matter which way you look at it. She has said that she is at peace with dying and know's where she's going, but to be honest, I don't know what that means. On good days, she still has her sense of humor about her, but she's never as chatty as she once was, so I guess I will have to carry that torch and I do believe I am able...

To end on a positive note, because that is how I like to "roll," the sun is shining, my pug is snoring at my feet and I am enjoying a sweet nap time break. Tomorrow I get to go floating down the Sandy River with some of my bestest friends and was specifically told to leave what little class I have at home - should be no problem!

These Days...

I'm wrapping up my second term of grad school and it is HECTIC! Just a couple of more weeks though and I'll get a break... School ends July 10th, I am due July 16th, then I will take 8-10 weeks off of work for maternity leave, start school again August 30th and go back to work half time. That is our plan anyways, if all goes well. I really hope she comes on time because I simply don't think I can wait any longer to meet her! I just can't wait to see her soft little butt and hopefully cute little face!!! I am dreaming of the day I can dress her up and take her out for a walk in her cool stroller that Jared and I had no trouble putting together! People said putting together the crib, changing table and stroller would be really hard, but not for us! :-) Makes me kinda proud...especially since Jared did the crib and changing table by himself. He took the BEST photos series of himself doing it, which is on Facebook and if you haven't seen it, you have been missing out, trust me! Our dog and cat have been learning to live in mutual disgust better and better and I am curious to see what they'll think of a little baby that steals all their attention! Also, I want to eat healthy, but there is junk food all around me. I don't even have to buy it! It is all up in my grill all the time and there's just no avoiding it. I guess I should just hope what some of my friends have been saying is true that if I breastfeed I won't be able to keep the baby weight on if I try! We shall see though, if I do ever learn to say no to things like muffins and chocolate and coffee cake and soda and cake and ice cream, etc., it will be a glorious day! Other than that, things are good and healthy as can be! She measures just about right, she moves around and gives me lots of heartburn, which I have heard means she's a hairy little beast, and I've begun to waddle a bit. I can't believe I only have 23 days left! Still they are too long. But then again, not really because of all I have to get done...not for her, but for school. Her nursery is ready except crib bedding, but I know that's on it's way and she will be in a cradle for a while anyways. Sorry I don't make paragraphs. I just write and write and write, but you know me.

Chuggin' Along

Brief Update:
Pregnancy still going well.
Glucose test thingy next appt. - gross.
Getting bigger around the mid-section.
Sorry no photos to be seen yet.
School still going well.
Lots of reading and papers to write.
Jared stressed from hard classes he has.
Hope he makes it through.
Taking life one step at a time.
Collecting lots of great hand-me-downs for Olivia.
Sooty still snorty.
Sweetie not so scared of Sooty and seen more often outside the laundry room.
Hungry all the time, or at least I think I am.
Wearing some great maternity clothes friends gave me.
So thankful.
Life is good and full of blessings.

Strange Dreams...

I had heard that people sometimes have wierd dreams or more dreams when they're pregnant, but seriously?!!! I have been having random and vivid dreams almost every night! Plus, when I get up to go to the bathroom as I have to every crack of dawn (just before it's almost time to really get up, but I can't hold it any longer), if I don't like the dream I was having I try and discontinue it, but then I'll have another wierd one before I start to hit the snooze button! Some of them are really too bizarre and sometimes almost embarrasing to share, but they have had to do with everything from being in the middle of the ocean for a class(???) with no lifejackets or anything when suddenly the student in front of me is face to face with a dolphin, which is kind of cool, but still makes me nervous because they can be wiley! THEN there are sharks and I'm thinking, OK, is the dolphin gonna defend us or WHAT is going to happen here?! THEN there are HUGE baluga whales and they are like jumping all the way up out of the water and splashing around and I'm like dang I wish I could do better than doggy paddling!!! THEN there's like a huge wave, not tidal, but big that starts pushing us all toward the shore and I'm like are we going to go crashing into some sea wall or buildings or how is this gonna stop without drowning me?!?! THEN it does slow down enough that I can sort of get my feet under me and walk out, but only into this house that is half way broken open and you have to go down these stairs that are like into a subway tunnel. THEN I end up in the kitchen of this house and I'm like I hope no one's home! THEN I have to break out of this door in the garage that is like locked from the inside and just when I think I've escaped, I see that like a family of ten neighbors is watching me wide-eyed from across the street and this little hispanic boy comes running out yelling at me (and the two random classmate/friends I am with) and they are like, Ok Ali, do your thing and explain to him what happened in Spanish. So, then I start, but with Spanglish, but he says he speaks English, so he tells us we better run........





WHAT a doozie!





Then, this morning's dream consisted of my office being PACKED with people on meeting day and a new agent asks me if we have a return address stamp, which we don't cause we just moved and the one we had has our old address on it, but I said no worries, we have label stickers. I go to get one and they are buried and when I get them there's only one left and it's mis-printed, so I'm like dang! Then, I think Ooh! We have letterhead envelopes with the address! BUT they are all gone and there's only garbage where I keep them (in real life my job is to keep all this stuff stocked and I am dang good at it, ok?! So get off my case!)! THEN I think ok, well I have a bunch of old letterhead envelopes that I put stickers over the address on, which would work, but they are gone and replaced by junk too! So I think I will just print him some new stickers, but he is getting impatient and is really unimpressed with the new real estate co. he signed on with....not cool. Then this other agent is like shoving me fighting over my computer and I'm like JUST LET ME DO MY FREAKING JOB! It was a very stressful, rediculous dream! I did not like it!





Anyways, it's still kind of fun going on these crazy adventures at night, even though they can be scary and make no sense...at least I get to share them with my husband in the morning and now with the rest of you! :-) I just got an idea for a book! Pregzilla Dreams: A Compilation of Crazy Dreams From Sane Pregnant Women

The real one (in my dream) was MUCH bigger and MUCH more menacing than this one!!!

The Day We Went to the Beach With Grandma and Grandpa

Someone mentioned Bruce's Candy Kitchen today on Facebook and it just reminded me to share a funny story, so I thought where better to share it than on my blog?

It was a nice summer day and my sweet grandparents had decided to take some of my cousins and I to Cannon Beach. I'll never forget it...they took us there to see the taffy being made at Bruce's Candy Kitchen, BUT the machine wasn't running when we went in, so while we looked around and drooled at the candy that WAS made, they decided we should just leave without buying any of us any candy! It had obviously not crossed their minds how much torment this would be especially for my youngest cousin Mark. So, as we walked out empty-handed and continued along the sidewalk, he moped, hanging his head as low as he could, until BAM! He walked right into the rearview mirror of a big truck at which point he was wounded both psychologically and physically. What a day at the beach for little Marky (and the rest of us)! I just remember thinking to myself, "How do they not see that this is just not right?"

I'll always remember fondly all the times when we would be riding in my grandparent's car and they would have Altoids or gum, so of course because their main ingredient is sugar, we would always ask if we could have one. They would oblige, but not without specifying that we were to "keep it in our mouths." I always thought this was funny because the last thing I'm ever going to spit out is candy!

You Can Call Me Super Ali - Rescuer of Babies

No, I didn't adopt one of those malnourished African children for $19.99 a month or anything saintly like that, but I did save a baby from certain injury last Sunday! We were all at my parent's house baking cookies, playing Settler's of Catan (I know - NERD alert!), and rough-housing with the kids so that my mom could present us all at once with our traditional early Christmas gifts. Usually we get them on Christmas Eve and we always know what they will be, but we don't know what they will look like. This year we did it early because we weren't sure all of us would be there for the actual night since we are all married and have in-laws to tend to as well. The gift is pajamas. Doesn't sound exciting to you? Well, they're not for you and I LOVE them! Maybe this is why every night I sleep in long pajama pants and a big, baggy t-shirt, even in the hot summer months and even though they ride up past my belly button when I tuck myself in and Jared makes fun of me. Once we'd all opened them my mom insisted that we put the huge gray sweatpants and brightly colored, long-sleeved t-shirts on immediately. The pajamas had ironed on Settler's of Catan board game covers that my mom printed. We're not obsessed or anything, just don't play with us if you want to chat and take it easy or have fun. We play to win! Sometimes even storming off dramatically if a streak of bad luck strikes. We each had a different color of the rainbow. I ran into the den to change, but the pants were so big and there was no drawstring so I had to use a chip clip to cinch them from falling down. It's all for the picture... SO, getting to the exciting stuff - we all posed and took about 4 pictures with the timer so no one is missing and then people started to get up off the couch. I was sitting on the back and Jared was on the arm next to me. I was holding baby Joshua, so tiny and so helpless, WHEN Jadon ran to our side and the whole thing began to tip! I screamed and someone stopped it from tipping, but because I wasn't sure if we were about to crash into my mom's Christmas village on the table next to us, Joshua started to slip sideways and almost bonked his head, did a flip and fell. Instead, he just did a flip and I caught him in the very knick of time by his elastic waistband! Bungee jumping freaks out babies apparently because he cried the loudest I've heard him cry for about the next 5 minutes until Lindsey could call him down. His head was a little red perhaps from the crying or blood rushing to it in the flip, but he didn't appear to have bonked it. Lindsey and Bryce called their pediatrician or someone anyways and monitored him closely for the next day and they said he seemed fine. Thank goodness for once in my life, I had reflexes fast enough to do something awesome!!! Ha ha! I will post a picture soon!

It's a fetus!

We're pregnant with our first baby now and I just got into grad school. The feelings of shock and overwhelmedness are fairly accurate ways to describe me right now. I am getting more excited by the day though. Yesterday my sisters and my mom took me out to get lunch and a pedicure, then we went shoe shopping and had a cook-off at my mom's house! It was a blast! The cooking was lots of hard work, but now we have like 10 meals worth of food in our freezer, which is totally awesome!!! I sure do love my family! Everyone is excited because they've been wanting us to have kids for a while. I'm nervous and so is Jared about how to make it work financially and time-wise, but we know we can and we are looking forward to a baby belly and then a cute little baby boy or girl. We already know names we like! Logan Kyle for a boy and Peyton Olivia for a girl. My niece Elie even said she wanted us to have a girl and name it Olivia before we told her the name we'd picked! Jadon of course wants us to have a boy and name it John... Better than Flippers or Fattest! It was so good to see everybody yesterday and I'm really looking forward to the holidays. Then school will start and let the madness begin! Morning sickness hasn't been too bad, I haven't thrown up once still, but I am only about 7 wks along, so we'll see how it all goes down... It will be an adventure for sure! But a beautiful baby will come of it and bless our lives in ways we cannot possibly imagine yet. We are so fortunate that God know's perfect timing better than we do and has a wonderful plan for our lives that never ceases to excite!!!

Studying with my Sweetie

Not that sweetie, my cat Sweetie (who is really usually a witch). Every time I start to try and study, which is important, ya know? Sweetie wants attention and gets in the way. Other than that, she loathes attention. But as soon as I look like I need to focus, there she is purring and snuggly. Here is a picture of her saying, "Don't even think about opening that book, Ali! I am here and I want your attention now." (until I try and shove her away and she scratches my neck. Ow. She is truly a witch...

Mugsy's Neurosis

Here's a tidbit of what it's like when you're crazy in the head like Mugsy (and what it's like to live with him):

"Aroof (tilt head to side as if I might be able to understand if I do this)?"

"What are you doing? Where are you going? You're walking that way? YOU'RE GOING OUTSIDE?! I want to come! Can I come? Open the door! Come on, what're you waiting for?! OH! You want me to sit? I forgot you make me do that every time. Ok, I sat! Can I go? Can I go? I'M IN THE YARD! (run side to side lightening fast and inspect for demons or ghosts or strangers) A flying fly! Arf! Darn! Missed it! (run up onto the raised border, even though I know I'm not supposed to, just to show how excited I am) AH! My tail! Hurry, GET IT! Chase it! GROWL! SNARF! WHoa! A gust of wind! That's shocking! (whip head quickly in opposite direction while looking uber alert) Ok, everything's fine. Don't worry, I took care of it with my manliness. STRANGER DANGER!!!! RRR, RRR, RRR!~ Hazootalo! I have spotted an intruder! Growl, growl, growl. (sniff stranger skeptically, jolting back every couple of seconds in case it lunges at me) Why does it smell like plastic?! I've never seen this before in my life! Eh, it's not movin'. I must've scared it stiff. GOOD! That's what I DO!!!!! (continue running about the yard and being suprised at everything I see)"

In conclusion, if you're wondering who the "intruder" was toward the end there, it was his plastic bin (yes, an inanimate object) that sits in his exercise pen every day with him. I had rinsed it out because he peed in it (which is what it is for) and left it upside down to dry in the backyard last night. It's an exhausting lifestyle, but somebody's gotta do it. The rest of us have no idea what neurotic people and dogs and other creatures go through to protect and serve. I personally am very thankful that Mugsy would never let a blade of grass quiver without bringing it to my attention.

Troublemakers at the Weezer Show

This was a "hootenanny" (sp?) where 30 local artists got to come up on stage and play with Weezer. The best was probably the dude with the melodica that nailed a solo in Island in the Sun!

At first they had white jumpsuits, but then they stripped and had red. Whoohoo!
The guys were awesome because they all switched around and played different instruments or sang and were so multi-talented. I didn't even realize they could harmonize like a barbershop quartet!



Someone blew up a condom like a balloon and we all bopped it around (actually none of us touched it), but it was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.


A & A other dude.

Tom grabbing himself ala Michael Jackson.

Yay! We're here to see Weezer!

Nice sock head, buddy.

"Ha, ha, ha. This show will be great. I'm having so much fun, are you?"

"Yeah."

Tom making love to the mic.

A "candid" shot of us walking to the Coliseum.

After much great anticipation, we attended the best concert we've seen since Jared and I got been married (just don't ask what other concerts we've seen in the last three years together...)!!! It was Weezer, of course, which was opened for by Angels & Airwaves (and some other no-name band). All were fun to listen to and watch, when we weren't being blinded by the "revenge of the rock stars on paparazzi throughout the decades!" lighting effects. The crowd was somewhat docile compared to what I was geared up for, but maybe just the kids around us were scared of us because we were obviously older and more knowledgeable in knife-fighting and such skills than they could possibly be... There was a little crowd surfing and jumping up and down and maybe I shoved one girl a little and boxed people out with my butt and elbows a little (the other mean side of Ali came out and had some fun), but not a lot of any of that. It was better than getting my arm broken though! The lead singer is really funny and one of my favorite things was when he would just jump on a trampoline while playing like a spazzy little kid. Below are some vids of our adventures in Weezerland!

Candy's Windy Wedding

I think I win the prize for most spastic blogging ever. No consistency or follow-through whatsoever, but hey, its better than nothing!~ I must admit, I use Facebook a lot to post pics and give updates/see what other people are up to. So, to catch you all up briefly...

...we had fun in Cancun, Hannah got a boyfriend named John, Nat moved in, Candy and Scott got married, Ali is applying for night school to get her Master of Arts in Teaching at George Fox (trust me, we don't all want to hang presidential candidates - there are crazies at every school, right?) because she wants to be a middle school teacher someday, I can't wait to go to Cody and Emily's wedding someday, we're planning a Halloween party at which we'll be wearing Street Fighter costumes, we're looking forward to snowboarding this year, we're still attending our beloved Life Group sometimes (but hope it will pick itself back up soon here as it's been in sort of a lull over the summer), we're staying home for the holidays (Thanksgiving and Christmas namely), Jared is probably pretty overwhelmed, but overall LIFE IS GOOD.

Not suprisingly, I also win the prize for longest run-on sentence. Yay me!

Hasta la vista, Baby!

One more for the road, I guess, as it has been a while... Tomorrow bright and early I leave for beautiful Cancun, Mexico! For EIGHT WHOLE DAYS! It may be stormy, but I won't have to work! I couldn't be more excited! I'll post some pictures from my NEW DIGITAL CAMERA I got for my birthday when I return! Wow, I am a total braggert today, but I don't really care because I'M GOING TO CANCUN!!!!! Adios, amigos! Ooh, and if you want to learn or brush up on Spanish, just let me know. I have this awesome website my friend Edvin told me about that I'm playing on now.

"Wow. That is usually super hard. I guess I just got lucky!"

The title is a funny quote in honor of my best friend, Emily, who inspired me to write today by telling me she enjoyed reading my entries, which she probably will live to regret someday...

Last night, while hanging out with aforementioned BFF, I discovered yet another raw talent of mine - bird whispering. It's the uncanny ability to soothe and calm the wildest of bird spirits into docile, gentle, loving playmates. It all began when Emily (who I think you should know has a long family history of being bird-lovers and also a bit bird-like) was telling me she wanted to forfeit her two parakeets, Vavagreen and Aquamablooey (if I remember their names correctly), to the fateful hands of Craigslist, but had been unsuccessful. Thus, stranding her with the two "worthless" creatures seemingly indefinitely!
She was so distraught I simply had to try and do something. So, I lifted the birdcage from it's hook on the ceiling and brought it down to my level on the coffee table. I quietly and slowly opened the door to their prison and, while uttering soft reassurances such as "Don't be scared my beautiful baby birdie boos." They love alliteration, so this got me off to a great start with them.
After the initial nervous flapping around, I decided to get serious and use the old "Good Cop/Bad Cop" trick and put on a black snow glove and continued trying to carefully grab them and hold them until they loved me as much as I wanted them to. This worked so well they simply got tired of hating me and decided they loved me so much they would stand on my hand for aproximately 2 whole minutes! This is a sure sign of affection any bird expert will tell you.
Now at least one of the two special little buddies is COMPLETELY domesticated, like an old golden retreiver that just loves to be pet so much.
And that's the story of how I tamed the birds.

Trust me, I'm not slacking...

I may not have blogged as much lately, but it's only because I've been so busy with everything! I will write more soon!!!!!!! I have a bachelorette party Friday, a test on Saturday and then working Sunday! Another speed weekend, here I come! But life is good. I can't wait to get back in school!

I think I can, I think I can, I think I can...

...go to the gym without Jared! AAHHH! I'm scared though. You see, I have to take off my wedding ring when I work out so I don't scratch it up on the weights and without my "funstopper" to flash in the faces of the fellow gym-goers, I have no way to deflect their glares that scream "You are a wus! Why are you here? That means you must be trying to find a mate. I'm a male. I could be your mate. Pant, pant!" It's hard enough just with my usual flailing and grunting against minimal poundage not to draw too much attention to myself, but I also make it a point not to make eye contact with anyone ever while there. This means I have to stare at the ground then ceiling, then the ground, then the ceiling with quick darting glances in between so I don't run into stuff. Then there's the awkward moments when you start approaching a machine you want and someone swoops in and you have to deflect like you didn't want to use it anyways and were actually heading to a different machine you don't even know how to use or what it's for. Always walking with a purpose so the crowd of exercise addicts around you doesn't think you're wasting their precious gym space.

Ok, I'm stopping right here, although I could go on, to add a funny from a co-worker. I just read this to my friend, John Decker who said, "But, you could also add 'without my funstopper, I do get to see that I'm still attractive and then figure out I could probably get all the machines I wanted without my funstopper'" to which I laughed pretty hard. Thanks.

24-Hour Fitness Hillsboro Rules!!!